Lets slit our wrists...

Everything is going to be alright...

Work is nuts. School is nuts. I is nuts.

ohhhhhhhh man. I have so much homework.

Ow. Well, let it be known I'll never do any kind of drug (or any for that matter) that requires a needle. Had to get my blood taken, twice. Once in each arm. I hate it when they jiggle the needle, made me sick to my stomach. I dropped my phone for the first time the other day, I just about screamed. Works fine though...I'll just have to never do that again.

-----

Erin-for your update.

Other than school because you know about it...my uncle that lives in Dublin went off to Nigeria or something for 10 days for Cheveron. The flight lost his luggage and he had to wear the same clothes for 4 days straight, but he said he smelled better than the people there.

The lease I have for the place I'm staying at is almost up and I don't know if I want to stay here or move. Everywhere is about the same price at the moment and it sucks. Unless I want to live in the ghetto, we are kind of forced to take the higher price (about $1,500 +)

It would be so much easier if I just updated everyday so I don't have huge entries like this one.

I want to go on vacation, but I don't know where yet. My parents don't know if they are going anywhere yet because of my schooling costing so much. It will be around $10,000 by the end of this year with no financial aide. Kinda sucks. I'm very grateful they are paying for it though.

OH! Erin, I slammed my fingers in the door today. My three middle fingers on my left hand. It hurt. Bad. What else...Oh, I might get an internship at this place in San Ramon...but I won't know until next week. If I get it, I'll explain more :) Do you still have your job at LLNL? My dad needs to find another job to keep himself occupied. haha.

Other than that, nothing really new. I just want another job and to be done with school, like you :) Congrats, by the way. Bachelors in communications, right? Or am I confused again? I'll try and update more.

My eyes burn. Spring has arrived.

LPC has a very interesting...no...ugly-looking degree. At least I got it, right? So, I carry on with school some more :\

It was 4:30 AM this morning. There where 7 kids in the hot tub screaming. They were smoking. Cops came. I got to sleep at 6 AM.

I need to sleep, but I'm still up...Maybe because I'm not tired.

I <3 my phone.

I broke my camera and now I'm on a search for a new one. I'm excited.

I'm getting sick of the rain.

whaaaaaaaaaaaaat? Need to start posting more, maybe it will let me vent.

I am busy, but I need another job.

So I went on to Ask.com the other day...and it was so sad. Go see why. The butler is gone! K. Bye.

<3 erin

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

I'm excited. I might be moving out soon, but I'm so used to some of the ways of living with my parents. Like cooking. I can't cook. I'm going to starve or be really fat. It won't be for a while, but I'm still excited. School is finally out, so I'm less stressed for about 20 days. Then I go back again. I kinda wish I was out of school. I don't really like my school or very many people that go there. I'll be transfering soon though, so thats good. There are a lot of things that are probably going to be happening very quickly and (kinda) soon. I'm not sure if everything is going to happen though, so I won't mention everything just yet. Right now, I'm not very awake...well..I am I'm just kind of out of it, so I'll have to write more sometime later.

<3 <3 <3

I've been so busy with school and getting back from vacation I haven't had time to breathe. I guess since I've been gone there has been some fires, eeek. I'll update more later I guess...whenever I have time!

<3 <3

Munchkin.

<3

Sometimes you think you've known someone just for way too long. Then again, when you do know someone for that long, you can look back at all the memories. Some good,some bad. But after 5 years it has never seemed to have gotten old. One of the memories of my past:

i fall asleep with my only dream, a fantasy of hope that someday you will be with me..
perhaps if you could only see how much your friendship means to me..
you will feel that my care for you is as big as the deep blue sea..
perhaps one day you will know just how i felt..
that a look from you made my heart start to melt..
comparing the brightest star to your beautiful face..
will be indescribable since your smile cannot be replaced..
so perhaps one day we will be together with a friendship so strong that will last us forever..

With Erin gone
Whose eyes compare
To the morning sun?
Not that I did compare
But I do compare
Now that she's gone

come to me wherever you are
come to me with all your heart
come to me like a river in rain
come to me wash off my pain
come to me and smile like dew
come to me and start anew
come to me with sound of bell
come to me and cast your spell
come to me and kiss my face
come to me with all your grace
come to me in hazy lights
come to me adorn in whites
come to me and hug me tight
come to me we'll dance all night


Don't you remember when things weren't so complicated?

Certain things get to you after a while, especially when they keep repeating. Hopefully they stop, but it keeps coming, even when you try and prevent it. How long can one person go before the same thing happens and they just throw it all away?

So imagine yourself driving and of course because this is California I'm talking about, you get pissed off at people not driving the speed limit. You are on the freeway and you get out of the fast lane and start moving on to other lane (slower lanes, but people are going slow so you can move around them). Suddenly you hit traffic, nothing new in California, but out of the corner of your eye you see a black guy in the right lane next to you, who just slammed on his breaks for no reason...except to look at you. If you are paying attention here, you were driving in traffic and you get to the traffic then some guy just slammed on his breaks next to you. Okay, just making sure you are paying attention. So you look at this crazed guy like "what the heck?" and you look over at him and you can read his lips very easily. "This mother fucker" is what he just yelled at you from his rolled up window in his janky car. So now you've got this black guy in this car you don't even know the make or the model because it is so janky, yell at you FROM HIS ROLLED UP WINDOW like you are going to hear what he is saying, but you do, because remember, you have the ablity to read his lips. Now, of course, the first thing that comes to mind is to flip this guy off because you aren't going to let some guy in a beater just diss you like that. So go on, now imagine flipping this guy off. THAT...Right there...Was a wrong move because for the next couple of minutes you are going to have to deal with him. So, now you have this black boy mad at you because you flipped him off..so he tries to ram you with his car. What do you do?!?! Quick think. He is trying to get in your lane and HIT YOU. Next best thing, move into the other lane, so quickly move into the other lane and you loose this guy for a few minutes moving in and out of traffic, but he hasn't forgotten about you and vice versa. You get off at a different off ramp in order for this guy not to follow you and you think for a brief second "YES HE'S GONE!". Oh but no, he followed behind you with his little tug boat car slowly catching up to you. You approach a red light and there is only one other car on the road besides you and this monster of a guy following you trying to ram you off the road. This other random car has no idea what is about to happen, you start swerving within the three lanes and come close behind this other random car on the road, but you don't get close to hitting it. Now you are at the light and of course it is red. You stop, but ready for anything to happen..a gun? No. A bomb? No. A car ramming session? No. This guy who is just so angry at you pulls up behind you and you watch him in your driver side mirror at every move this guy is about to make. The driver of the car (the black boy) fliddles around trying to put this piece of junk of what is left to be made out of a car into park, then tries to take his seat belt off and then opens the driver door and fliddles again and comes walking toward your car with some kind of little bar object about to kill your car or you. You take a look at the other car that was the only other car on the road and the driver looks at you like you are nuts, while he is on his cell phone probably telling his friend that there was some crazy guy driving all over the road behind him. And that's it, you are off. You take off in your car and drive through the red light because you don't want to die, nor your car. There is no one even at the light, so you are safe to drive through the red light only because you think your life is at danger. Then you never see this guy behind you after you take off through the light. He is at no sight behind you and you don't ever see him for the rest of that day and you are thinking "wow what a completely insane day"...

...The next day arrives. You drive 40 miles away from where this last scene happened and you are driving to have a nice round of golf. How relaxing and fun this is going to be. You are seriously really excited to play golf because you haven't played miniture golf in forever. This long drive seems like a pain, but in the end, it is worth it...or so you think. Then everything seems to go wrong. First, you miss the exit and have to exit the next one down and get back on the freeway. No big deal there, just a pain. Then, you pull into the driveway of this golfing adventure and a janky car pulls in front of you and then drives by. For a split second you think to yourself "wow the car sure looks like the one that messed with me yesterday" and by the time you are done thinking that to yourself, you see reverse lights on from the car that just passed you. OH MY GOSH. YOU CAN'T BELIEVE IT. IT IS THE SAME BLACK BOY FROM YESTERDAY! NO WAY! No, seriously though, it was the same guy with the same crappy car. So, once you realize this, obviously you aren't going to park, you are going to high tail it out of there right? The black boy is at one exit of the parking lot and you are at the other, but the only problem is, the black boy has the exit closer to the freeway. SHOOT! Now what do you do?!?! You have no idea where the other way of the street goes, so, you wish yourself good luck and drive the direction toward the freeway and the black boy. The black boy has a death wish and pulls his car out in front of yours and just stops in the middle of the street. NOW WHAT?! Do you run this kid over or do you go around into the other side of the street and try and kill yourself?! Quick decision here..times ticking. NO. You don't slam on your breaks, you go around him. You drive your car as fast as you can and drive right for his guy who wants to die from your wrath. All of a sudden you go around him and your car screeches along the road, but you just keep going. What if there are cars coming the other direction? What if you crash? There are a million things going through your head, but there is only one way out of this mess and that is to go around this fool. You've passed him, but now is he going to follow you again?! You go quickly as fast as you can like your life is one of those people off of MXC and the asian person is about to fall off whatever course they are doing. BUT! Luckily, you got one of the not so smart players who almost fell off, but made it across some how. You've made it back on to the freeway, but you haul butt like no other. This guy's face isn't a face you really would like and enjoy looking at. So fearing you will have to see this ugly boy's face again, you fly down the freeway and then finally, after all that..he is gone. He never got on the freeway. You are safe. Free. But...When will you run into him again? Time can only tell...

The last two days summed up. My life is insane and Sebastian keeps it that way.
<3 <3 <3

So I haven't updated obviously in a long time, so I just want to get this over with and send out all the pictures and get it over with. I think I've learned not to wait and wait and then just dump a whole bunch of pictures because I don't think that is working out so well. Once more though, keep it up guys you are being a great audience. hahaha...right.

( my adventure in one day )



<3 <3 <3 Three hearts. THREE.

You demand...I guess I'll supply. ( here we go... ) <3 <3